Shia LaBeouf: I thought I would never act again

&Tab;&Tab;<div class&equals;"wpcnt">&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;<div class&equals;"wpa">&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;<span class&equals;"wpa-about">Advertisements<&sol;span>&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;<div class&equals;"u top&lowbar;amp">&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;<amp-ad width&equals;"300" height&equals;"265"&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab; type&equals;"pubmine"&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab; data-siteid&equals;"111265417"&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab; data-section&equals;"1">&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;<&sol;amp-ad>&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;<&sol;div>&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;<&sol;div>&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;<&sol;div><p>Shia LaBeouf has said he thought his acting career was over and he would join the Peace Corps when he wrote a film abut his life while in a mental institution&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>The Transformers actor mined his own history to write the autobiographical Honey Boy&comma; about a child star who has a troubled relationship with his father&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>Otis Lort is played by British actor Noah Jupe as a child and by Manchester By The Sea star Lucas Hedges as a young adult&comma; while LaBeouf plays his own father&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>He wrote the screenplay while in court-ordered rehab and told The Hollywood Reporter’s actor roundtable&colon; <em>&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;My back was against the wall&period; I was nuclear at this point&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;It felt like survival&comma; like there was no other way to go&period; I didn’t have a lot of people talking to me&period; I was in a mental institution&period; And I also had a doctor who was pushing me to explore these dirty parts and write them down&period;”<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>He said being in the institution helped him discover empathy for his father&comma; who he described as &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;always the biggest villain in my life”&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>He added&colon;<em> &OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;And if you can empathise with the biggest villain in your life and scrape some of these shadows&comma; it makes you lighter and freer&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;I don’t think I was leading with love&comma; and my life has changed&period; And when you lead with lightness and love&comma; you can get to the heavy easier&comma; you know&quest; It’s much easier&comma; much more accessible&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;Anger and the rough shit is very easy – it’s the other stuff that feels quite difficult&period; Getting an honest laugh is very hard&comma; very hard&period; I think some of the hardest stuff is the lightness&period;”<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>He continued&colon; <em>&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;I hadn’t talked to my dad for seven years before I started this&comma; so I didn’t really know my dad too well&comma; didn’t have a relationship with him&period; &lpar;In acting&comma; I grew up&rpar; transposing my pain from my father and it would work in front of a camera for a long time&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<blockquote class&equals;"twitter-tweet" data-width&equals;"550" data-dnt&equals;"true">&NewLine;<p lang&equals;"en" dir&equals;"ltr">&quot&semi;My dad signed the paper under the auspices that he was going to be played by Braveheart&period;&quot&semi; Even though Mel Gibson never responded to Shia LaBeouf about playing his father in <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;twitter&period;com&sol;hashtag&sol;HoneyBoy&quest;src&equals;hash&amp&semi;ref&lowbar;src&equals;twsrc&percnt;5Etfw">&num;HoneyBoy<&sol;a>&comma; he used the name to get his dad to sign off on the role <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;t&period;co&sol;yOl7K3XK1o">https&colon;&sol;&sol;t&period;co&sol;yOl7K3XK1o<&sol;a> <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;twitter&period;com&sol;hashtag&sol;THRRoundtable&quest;src&equals;hash&amp&semi;ref&lowbar;src&equals;twsrc&percnt;5Etfw">&num;THRRoundtable<&sol;a> <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;t&period;co&sol;T6eA2OhJAE">pic&period;twitter&period;com&sol;T6eA2OhJAE<&sol;a><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&mdash&semi; The Hollywood Reporter &lpar;&commat;THR&rpar; <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;twitter&period;com&sol;THR&sol;status&sol;1202249119055503360&quest;ref&lowbar;src&equals;twsrc&percnt;5Etfw">December 4&comma; 2019<&sol;a><&sol;p><&sol;blockquote>&NewLine;<p><script async src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;platform&period;twitter&period;com&sol;widgets&period;js" charset&equals;"utf-8"><&sol;script><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;<em>I didn’t have much more technique than that and then was scared to clean it up because I thought&comma; &OpenCurlyQuote;Well&comma; I don’t want to lose the only thing I’ve got’&comma; which was this pain that felt very real for me&period; I had a strange way of viewing my pain with my father and I used it at work&period;”<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>LaBeouf also said that he never expected to play his own father and even told him that the part would be played by Mel Gibson&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;<p>He said&colon; <em>&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;I didn’t think I’d be able to play him&comma; because I was not in a spot where people were like&comma; &OpenCurlyQuote;Hey&comma; let’s put some money on this kid’s back and have him carry a movie&period;’<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;I thought my acting career was done&period; I was going to join the Peace Corps&period; So I sent it to Mel Gibson and luckily he never emailed me back and it gave me an opportunity&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;I thought he was the guy to play my dad&comma; and my dad was thinking along the same lines&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;And it’s one thing to want to play your dad&comma; it’s another thing to go stand in front of your father after seven years of not talking and go&comma; &OpenCurlyQuote;Hey&comma; man&comma; I’m going to play you’&comma; when there’s contention already&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;So I lied to him and told him&comma; &OpenCurlyQuote;Mel Gibson’s going to play you&period; Sign right here’&period;<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;<p><em>&OpenCurlyDoubleQuote;So my dad signed the paper under the auspices that he was going to be played by Braveheart&period;”<&sol;em><&sol;p>&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;<div style&equals;"padding-bottom&colon;15px&semi;" class&equals;"wordads-tag" data-slot-type&equals;"belowpost">&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;<div id&equals;"atatags-dynamic-belowpost-68ed54599d066">&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;<script type&equals;"text&sol;javascript">&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;window&period;getAdSnippetCallback &equals; function &lpar;&rpar; &lbrace;&NewLine;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;&Tab;if &lpar; 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